Garmanbozia

My new job has this attendance software, sort of like the punch-cards you get in old-time factories. You clock in, you clock out.

There are set reasons for absence. If you're absent, you have to choose from a series of options.

These are the options (verbatim, complete with typos):

Bus Abs Adjust Plus -- Bus Abs Adjust Minus -- Broken Foot -- Abcess -- Ankle Injury -- Eye Problem -- Muscular Neck Strain -- Urine Infection -- Arthritis -- AFC Edinburgh -- AFC Glasgow -- Working Bain Square -- Working Gyle Square -- Chest Infection -- Dislocation -- Stomach Bug -- Attacked by Dog -- Viral Infection -- Arm Pain -- Poisoned Foot -- Kidney Infection -- Gastroentiritis -- Dental Treatment -- Tonsilities -- Dizziness -- Knee Pain -- Foot Injury -- Family Issues -- Chest Pain -- Hospital Appointment -- Stress -- Varicose Vein Treatm -- Inflammation -- IBS Asthma Problems -- Tooth Abcess -- Mouth Infection -- Wrist Injury -- Anxiety -- Respiratory Tract In -- Knee Replacement -- Feinted -- Pulled Muscles -- sinusitis -- SpringBoard -- Abdominal Pain -- Toothache -- Headache/Migraine -- medical condition -- Depression -- Sciatica -- Sickness -- Diarrhoea -- Gall Bladder -- Allergic reaction -- Neurological -- gynaecological -- Ear Ache -- neck/shoulder pain -- Ear Infection -- Swollen Tonsils -- Period Pain -- Throat & Sinus Infecti -- Torn Ligaments -- working from home -- Visiting PCB or IHT -- Visiting Scottish Ex -- Visiting Practice -- Sore Throat -- Virus -- Cold/flu -- Backache -- Vomiting -- Hospitalisation -- Bereavement -- UTI -- Car Accident -- Operation -- Appendicitis -- slapped cheek syndro -- flu -- Bowel Infection -- Head Injury -- Colitis