Blink.
What the hell was that?
Some kind of dream.
I can barely remember it.
Weird though.
Take a breath.
Try to play it back.
No.
It’s gone.
Looking up at the ceiling.
Well. That’s that.
Cold this morning.
Feet on the floor.
Get up.
Stretch.
Walk across the room.
Open the case.
Take out the next envelope.
Couple years back I took some leave.
Four weeks.
Didn’t feel like it.
They said I had to.
I thought: what the hell.
May as well try drugs.
LSD, mescaline, ketamine.
That sort of thing.
Tried amphetamines.
Three nights into that one, got restless.
Had an idea.
Decided to write these things.
Instructions.
Wrote them down on pieces of card.
2000+.
Kept writing until I ran out of ideas.
Then:
Put them in envelopes.
Individually dated.
(Later I bought a case for it all.
A display case.
Antique, with a glass lid.
Like for jewellery.
Filed away in there.)
One for each day.
The idea is:
I open them when I wake up.
Read the instruction.
Follow it.
There's about 1500 left now.
Little bit nervous about the last one.
Think it reads:
"KILL YOURSELF"
But can't remember 100%.
Anyway.
Today is 23 June.
2010.
Card says:
"PAY ATTENTION TO RELIGIOUS PEOPLE"
Think: okay.
Not so hard this time.
Shower.
Breakfast.
Head in to work.
TBC
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